Help Me Jesus!!!
Help Me Jesus!!!
There were days when I didn't think I could go on.
I had two girls to take care of and I did not want them to see me falling apart —
they were coping with their own grief.
I also owned a business and my clients relied on me heavily.
I was so broken. I was so weak. I cried daily for a long time.
The one thing I did know was that Jesus was the only one that was going to get me through.
I needed his strength, because I DEFINITELY couldn't do it in mine.
I would decree daily...I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13 KJV
Removing the Bondages
Removing the Bondages
I was so shocked and confused. Surely God didn't want me to divorce.
It says in the Bible that God hates divorce.
“For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”
Malachi 2:16 NLT
We also took vows before him. None of this made sense
until I heard a message from a reputable Pastor that I followed.
She had said in one of her teachings, "Many of you are in marriages that God did not join together".
Wow, what an "aha" moment.
You see, I felt that God wanted me to leave my ex-husband 8 years before I did. But I couldn't get past
my vow to God and the belief that you didn't get divorced, you make it work.
However, that is very difficult to do when only ONE person in the marriage feels that way.
I was also quite shocked and confused as to why I was so upset.
I mean, my husband and I had nothing in common and we fought all the time.
So that's when I picked up my Bible and said,
"Okay Lord, I know you speak through your word and right now I need Wisdom and Understanding in my life."
I would read the Bible and ask God questions while I sat and listened.
He would lead me to scriptures. He would lead me to books and sermons on TV.
All of this was causing me to dig down deep inside my soul
and start dealing with all the previous trauma in my life.
He also showed me how I had given my ex-husband the throne of my heart instead of the Lord.
Slowly but surely, the Lord started unraveling my heart from all the bondages of
hurt, pain, disappointment and sorrow I had suffered through.
It turns out that the reason I hung on for so long in a dead marriage was because of
my own childhood when my parents divorced.
I was desperately trying to protect my children from all of the pain I had gone through.
What a divine revelation to me.
After I was able to identify the root cause,
I was then ready to have it up-rooted and for Jesus to heal my broken heart.
It's a process, but I guarantee that if you stick with it and dig deep,
you will also receive your revelation and healing.
There are so many great people in the Kingdom world that will help you through.
Joyce Meyer, Bishop TD Jakes, Pastor Paula White, Katie Souza, Dr. Mike Murdock,
Pastor Robert Clancy, and Kay Blessing made a great impact in my journey.